


Good Morning Night Vale Tonight

by Captnq



Category: Blood Space Armed Forces Radio Network, Welcome to Night Vale, wtnv
Genre: Fake Episode, Fancast, Night Vale Mini-Fic Party, Podcast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captnq/pseuds/Captnq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Intern Robert York survived 20 years in the steam tunnels under Night Vale Community Radio Station and in the process kills the Steam Tunnel Horror. Thus he is given his own show. On the over night. Between midnight and 5 am. He has exactly six listeners. His recording studio is a disused bathroom in the steam tunnels. He tries his level best to put on a show that will impress management enough to the point where he can finally get out of the Time Slot Where Careers Go To Die.</p>
<p>Deals with serious issues, has major spoilers about the WTNV, and tries to be funny whenever possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was just going to be just my fancasts of the show, but then I saw the Night Vale Mini-Fic Party on tumblr last night and realized that I had like oodles of background notes nobody gets to see. So I spent last night reorganizing my notes and putting them into a series of mini-stories for people to enjoy. Note, it'll be a LONG TIME coming before some of these back stories come up in the show, but here they are all the same.

The first episode where we are introduced to Robert York, the new late night host at Night Vale Community Radio.

Hosting On Youtube.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FBuolP9EA4

Always looking for feedback.  
However, "improve the quality of your recording equipment" has already been noted and ain't happening unless I hit the lottery.

\-----------

DT-999

Dear Subscriber:

1E1740.7-2942, better known as The Great Annihilator, is a substation and repeater for all Chronostream transmits in your sector of the Blood Space War. We are afraid that Enemy agents have sent a suicide mission into the event horizon, thus allowing them to intercept and transmit their own propaganda to your present. We are making every attempt to jam these transmissions, but we are afraid that you will be bombarded with multiple conflicting narratives designed to confuse you. This is done to sow doubt in your mind in hopes to reaping it later. This sort of activity is typical right before an invasion, but never after/before on this scale.

We highly recommend you download the latest patch to the chrono-incursion detectors and stay vigilant. Also, delete any transmission that does not have the official Alliance encryption. The Enemy is known to use memetic kill agents, so anything you read may cause brain hemorrhaging.

We have detected that some of our newest members in your sector have not received the latest summary of the BSW. Transmission to follow:

The Blood Space War is the result of various timelines fighting over what is perceived as a scare resource, chrono-energy. The very life blood of any universe, chrono-energy is actually remarkably robust stuff. However, if every timeline were allowed to split indefinitely, it would result in existence failure in a matter of centuries for trillions of universes.

So the strongest and most enlightened of the universes reached out to other universes that were discovering time travel and brought them into the fold. The goal was to minimize time divergences and in doing so find a way to preserve existence for all its members. Originally it was not believed that it could be done. The Alliance started out a rather fractured lot that remained allied because they believed in keeping your friends close, and your enemies closer.

The Alliance would have been doomed to fall apart, if it was not of the emergence of The Enemy. A small group of chrononauts discovered that worlds without self-aware creatures on it all merged with one another. That single world, known as the dead world, was a hellscape devoid of life. It was also obscenely rich with chrono-energy. The group was tasked with figuring out how to tap that vast source of time energy to refocus it to help the weaker members of The Alliance. The Enemy started out as a mission of mercy.

We don't know what happened. Madness? Perhaps it was planned from the beginning. The group took control of The Dead world and tapped into the vast energy supply to shield their timeline from incursions. At first Alliance command thought that there was some sort of accident and sent multiple attempts to save the original group sent to harness the timeline. Every first responder was killed and their skulls were returned. Most of the skulls has teeth marks on them.

The first act of The Enemy was to declare was on The Alliance. Every attempt to negotiate with them will failed. They have succumbed to propaganda and become fanatical servants of their death worshiping cult. The Alliance was not a military operation at the time that The Enemy made their first assault. Nulogorsk will forever be remembered as one of the great sneak attacks. Using their vast chrono reserves, the enemy had spent millions of subjective years preparing for war. The assault on Nulogorsk was sudden and brutal. The devastation was total. If it was not for the actions of B.B. Schrön during that conflict, the resulting attack would have completely shattered the heart of the alliance, set most timeline adrift, and left the universe defenseless against The Enemy.

Contrary to popular belief, B.B. Schrön is not proud of his actions that day. True, he defeated The Enemy and stabilized countless timelines, but in the process of using his untested theories that would later be refined into the Chronovore Bombard, he inadvertently created The so-called Atrocity Realm. His partial failure, however, was the drive he needed to push forward and perfect Chronovore Class weaponry. His guilt saved countless lives.

Wanting to be remembered for more then just a creator of weapons, he focused his intellect on defensive capabilities and figured out how to create the ultimate defense from The Enemy. I speak of none other then that which bears his name, The Schrön Loop. A pinched off section of an empty timeline, the remainder of the timeline was then broken down for energy and used to fuel and stablize the reaction. Because of the highly destructive results after a Schrön Loop's creation, only enemy timelines were used.

The brilliance of the Schrön Loop is that it is empty of all matter, yet can hold a near infinite amount of information. Indestructible and inacceptable by any normal enemy attack, the Schrön Loops would become symbols of unification and the promise of peace. For one Schrön Loop could hold all the information of every life, of every person, in every reality. Each reality could be recreated perfectly in every detail, but all as pure information and without the high price of a physical existence.

True, some detractors want to maintain a combination of the Schrön Loops and physicality, but our projections show that physical existence will only lead to the end of all realities. Only in a Schrön Loop where all things are possible, can a self-aware being live out it's life without fear of accidentally making a choice that results in the deaths of billions.

The Alliance has already won the war. We have received word from SL's from beyond the end of the BSW and we have been informed of the success of our plan. We will fight the enemy at every turn. Eventually, when the war is finally won, every one who ever fought in the war will be downloaded to SL-1 and given the choice to live any way they choose. It will be a perfect simulation of a universe. For those who wish it, their chosen universes can be shared, or immutable, or a idealized life of their choosing. It is impossible to tell the difference between life in a Schrön Loop and physicality.

It is also much safer. Our estimates show that our Schrön Loop configuration into a stable tetrahedron will not only be incredibly stable, but should last a whopping 48.2 million TIMES longer then a conventional matter infused universe! In our virtually created universes, death truly is just a phase, and you can reincarnate, or go to heaven. Or whatever belief system you wish.

Alas, we cannot just all upload ourselves into Cosmos 2.0. First we must fight and win the blood space war. While we have already won the war, we still need to fight the war. That's where you, and every self-aware being in your sector comes in. Every life matters. Every choice counts. Do your part to help fight the despotic warlords that seek to kill your very existence and absorb it into a dead world. Stay true and all will be rewarded.

The Reality.

The Vision.

The Alliance.


	2. Allegory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A political announcement about raising the Minimum Rage.  
> Problems with the book drive.  
> Suicide at the orphanage.  
> Letters from the listeners: OSHA Requirements.  
> An update on Wheatgate.  
> Sponsored by Pinkberry.

Hosting at Youtube  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBEltgRNXWQ

\-------

We Are The Enemy

There are those who labeled us The Enemy as a propaganda tool, but we have embraced it as an honorific. They do not know what it means to be The Enemy. We will explain it to you. Understand us and know the truth of our words.

They call our timeline The Dead World, but the title could not be further from the truth. Our world is full of life. Jagged Mountains, Deep oceans, Lush verdant forests. Our world teems with life. Every Planck tetrahedron and moment of our world lives. Harsh and aggressive, beautiful in it's perfection.

What you won't find are machines that think for themselves causing havoc as they destroy worlds with their recursive fractal thinking. You won't find the weak, useless eaters that bloat up a world with their myopic, narcissistic lives. Our world has few intelligent creatures, but those intelligent creatures are STRONG. They are the apex. All food chains end with us.

They say were are revolution, but we say we are evolution.

Watch nature. Observe her ways. The strong survive, the weak perish. This is the way of all worlds. It is written into the bones of reality. Where there is life, there is order. Where the weak are allowed to live, your world devolves into fragments.

This is the real truth of the Blood Space War. The truth that they seek to keep from you. We do not seek the obliteration of all life. We seek the death of all weak life. We are not a few dozen fanatics as The Alliance would have you believe. We are millions. We can coexist in The One True World because We All Think And Believe the same.

Unity of belief is strength. Unity of faith is purpose.

Look around you. Look at the creatures who claim to be men. They are brain dead monkey slaves to the hindbrain. They do not live. They do not act. How many people live their lives and never make a choice that matters? You know your choice matters when your world splits. How many truly make a difference?

You could kill everyone but a few thousand and your world would be stronger for it. We do not want to come to your world to kill all of your people. We want you to make war on each other until only the best and the strongest remain. When you embrace our beliefs and all the useless eaters are dead, you will not have to seek us out. Your world will merge with ours and we will be as one.

We do not promise paradise. We promise a world just as rich and full of life and conflict as the world we ask you to make. There are no sacred dynasties. The strong rule and the weak perish here as well. All things must die and we accept that as well. When we die, it will be our time. When we perish, we know we died fighting the just fight for the right cause.

THE TRUTH

You have been told lies by those who would seek to limit your greatness.

The Alliance would seek to turn you into a computer program. A data ghost where they upload you into a heaven or hell of their making. They claim they will join you in paradise, but you will only become exactly what they want you to be as they rewrite you to serve their purposes.

We know what the Third Schrön Loop is. It is not a computer simulation. It is a pocket universe that all of the chrono energy that The Alliance Steals is poured into. They plan on doing exactly what we are doing. They will have a small group in one world where they will possess everything. The other three Schrön loops will be the source of their play things and in that loop they will physically live out the rest of eternity. Your masters have a different fate planned for themselves.

The Synarchy of The Alliance will not be turned into data, but will remain physical. They are feeble shadows that delude themselves into thinking they are the puppet masters of all reality. They believe that SL-3 is the stronghold from which they will rule. Do not doubt that they believe themselves to be the heroes of this drama. The bubble universe they have created is nothing less then Ouroboros. A snake that circles the cosmos, devouring all to sate its endless appetite.

We too want to unify reality, but we accept that none of us has a special claim to it. From the strongest of our ranks to the weakest, we accept that only by constantly testing ourselves can the best of us have a place in the Afterall. All have an equal chance to become Ascended Masters. They seek to save themselves with lies and illusions. We are willing to die to feed the strongest.

They are weak.

We are strong.

They will fail.

\----

The Alliance claims that the Chronovores are the result of our victory. They could not be further from the truth. The Chronovores are but beasts. Beasts survive, but they cannot live. To sacrifice being alive just to survive is anathema to all we teach and believe. We live every moment to the fullest. The Enemy accepts that all things must die, even ourselves. All times have a time. All Things have a season. Accept the inevitability of death, then you can truly live.

The truth is that the Chronovores are the results of experiments by the Alliance to obtain the "perfect" form. You cannot make the perfect form. Perfection can never be obtained. Life is a test and you must live it to pass. The Alliance experiments at creating chronovore class weaponry resulted in the creation of the Chronovores. They actually thought they might become those creatures somehow.

It is impossible to know what "perfection" is. Perfection changes depending on the nature of reality. It ebbs and flows. The Alliance's attempts to create perfection is only another example of reality rebelling against their unnatural perversions.

\-----

The Rebels are nothing more then the puppets of the Alliance. Created as a relief value to lure the strong in their ranks out into the open, The Rebellion is nothing more then another layer of control. The means to trick the strong so the weak can survive.

The Rebels speak of the dream of Bielefeld. Bielefeld existed once. The Alliance created it as the means to draw out the strongest individuals from their ranks. Once they were all in one place, The Alliance sprung the trap.

But like all worlds where all life dies, Bielefeld was reborn. It merged with us. In the end, the more they fight, the more they struggle, the more they become grist for the mill. They fight fire with fire, and all it does is raise the flames higher.

Do you want to grow fat consuming your processed nutrients and regurgitated entertainment? Do you open your mouth wide for lies vomited by lesser men? Are you one of the strong? Chances are you are not. Chances are you are one of the useless eaters. Even a useless eater can throw off the shackles of his hind brain and return to life! You might perish the moment you dare to raise your head up. The moment you dare to dream, your masters may slay you where you stand. One Moment alive is worth a thousand lifetimes as a beast.

\-----

There is one more secret you should know. The Atrocity Realm is not our making. It is not the result of the war, or the chronovores, or any action that any self-aware being has made.

In the beginning there was Unity. And unity was alone. He wanted others to join him. He wanted to know what it was like to be many. He was the first to create self-aware life in the universe. There was a problem. Unity could observe all things. As long as he observed everything, there could be no quantum flux. Without uncertainty, intelligence is not possible. How could an omniscient being allow uncertainty?

Unity then chose to close his eyes, just a little. On only one small part of the universe. Many worlds have many names for it. Gehenna. The Abyss. Hell. The Alliance calls it the Atrocity Realm. We know the truth about it. It is That Which Is Beyond The Sight Of The Creator.

The universe is a womb. It is harsh and cruel because the universe wants us to be born. The pain you suffer is just the universe trying to push you to go beyond. To push yourself to become greater and greater until, finally, you can go Beyond to The Afterall. This is the truth of The End of The Blood Space War. It is not the time after the war ends, but the point where you leave existence and go to join with The Creator.

You cannot survive beyond existence if you are weak. You must make yourself strong. You must be the strongest. You must fight and you must win. This is the Great Truth. We know it because our Ascended Masters have gone past The End and one returned. He told the first of us about the true nature of the blood space war. The Very Purpose of Existence.

The Atrocity Realm is the true end of the Blood Space War. You cannot wait it out. You cannot make a bubble and hide in it. You cannot create some fantasy city where all men our brothers, because we cannot be brothers until we are born. If you choose to bury your head in the sand, then sooner or later, all of reality will be consumed by the Atrocity Realm.

It will be worse then death. It will be a place where nothing you do has any meaning. You will crave death, and it will be granted, but then it will be taken from you. All will become madness. The only hope is to GET OUT. To get out you must FIGHT. You have almost no real chance, almost none is better then none. Only a painful few of our ranks have been reborn, but it is possible. We can show you the way, but we cannot take you there. We will forge you anew, or burn you away. Either way, we will help you burn brighter then you ever thought possible.

\------

Conflict Is The Flame.

End The Chaos

Order Thru Unity

\------

BSW-DT-999.01.01.01.01.03  
What is WRONG with you people? You cannot underestimate these fanatical lunatics! Yes, only a suicidal nut case would attempt an intercept at 1E1740.7-2942. Anyone who did that would be vaporized by relativistic matter falling into the event horizon. Did it occur to you idiots that The Enemy ARE Suicidal Nut Jobs? Recall the TM and FIX this! Who knows how many people might actually believe this insanity!


	3. rly?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flakey-O's hosts a LAN party.  
> Update on the search for Jennifer.  
> A curfew for minors.  
> Sponsored by Hairanoia.

Hosted at youtube:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZqPShj6Xoc

\-----

*For want of a nail the shoe was lost.*

*For want of a shoe the horse was lost*

*For want of a horse the knight was lost*

*For want of a knight the battle was lost*

*For want of a battle the kingdom was lost*.

*All for want of a nail*

The basis of the Blood Space War is both extremely complex as well as rather simple. In a nutshell, the Blood Space War is simply a battle for survival. Individual universes are fighting for the right to exist. You might wonder "why can't we all get along?" And the answer is rather unsettling.

Every intelligent creature in the universe is self-aware because of quantum level information processing. Be it advanced AI, or the microtubules that spontaneously appeared in organic brains, the ability to harness the uncertainty of quantum level fluctuations is what allows for the supple and flexible decision making of intelligent entities.

Here's the problem. At the beginning of time there was a massive outward explosion. This initial blast is what gives all realities the "arrow of time". But it's not a blast in a traditional sense, but more like a river. Water flowing down a flat flood plain, carrying everything with it. The problem is, there is only so much water. We refer to this as chrono-energy.

Before intelligence, this wasn't an issue. Reality moved along at a stately pace. Stars formed, galaxies coalesced. Geological events happened and nobody complained. After intelligence, people started making choices. Every choice creates multiple parallel "timelines". When this happens, the new daughter timelines split off. The problem is, usually one timeline gets all the chrono-energy and the rest don't even get a blip. One choice is superior to the others for whatever reason and that version of reality progresses with the bulk of the chrono-energy. The minor parallel timeline usually exists in a very limited area for a few planck moments before it collapses back into the main timeline. It's energy is reclaimed, and nobody knows that potentially millions of people were just created and destroyed before you could even blink an eye.

Sometimes a choice, and it's really hard to predict which choices, create two distinct possible outcomes that seem to have equal "weight". The choice has to severely limit the choices made by others. One choice has to kill possibilities and the other choice need to let those possibilities live.

If it's a minor number of possibilities, then the secondary time line will come into existence, but it won't get a whole lot of chrono-energy. In comparison to the main timeline, the secondary universe will be going rather slow. Years might fly by when only a few days pass in the secondary. Eventually the amount of energy given to the secondary gives out. The timeline grinds to a halt. Status sets in. Entropy takes over. The secondary universe falls apart and tends to be gobbled up by more robust and stable timelines.

Which brings us to those choices that lead to universes that are about the same size. Both universes get half the energy that the original had and progresses on, without either knowing about the existence of the other. However, to a theoretical outside observer, they are both "moving" at half the speed of the timeline before the split. The more you split timelines, the less energy to go around. Sort of. The math is a whole lot more complex, but this is just an example.

Then people figured out how to move through time. They discovered that chrono-energy was a limited resource and in the end, every timeline will collapse and die. It's only a matter who lives longest. Eventually, any organized group will determine that only by collecting chrono-energy from other timelines can their timeline survive. In some cases, the problem is thousands of years off. In other cases, such as minor timelines, they might have weeks, if not months before the end of their universe.

Since the speed of light is constant, you can usually determine how fast your universe is dying by measuring the red-shift of light from distant stars. If you detect a significant red-shift from your sun, well, that's a sign that you are totally screwed and might only have hours to go. Days at best.

And that's why we have the Blood Space War. No matter how awful of nasty or brutal it gets, we aren't just fighting for ideological reasons, or a desire for conquest, or even for survival. The Blood Space War is a battle for EXISTANCE.

Now, there are many ways the war can be fought.

1\. Going Back In Time - Going back in time and eliminating a choice can work, but often with unpredictable results. You are just as likely to kill your own timeline as another. Fortunately it is less like turning a switch and more like damming a river. You have "time" as your timeline runs out of energy to go back and fix things, but if you don't, your timeline will quickly wither and die. This is the number one cause of "Meanwhiles", where you have multiple versions of the same object or entity.

2\. Merging - You can restore possibilities in another timeline. If you can make conditions in another timeline resemble yours, the two timelines naturally draw together and merge. Usually there are some issues, a need to clean things up, irregularities pop up as nothing completely matches up, but it is by far the most "humane" method of fighting for survival. Think of it as a propaganda war and fighting for "hearts and minds". This often results in "Neverweres", objects and entities that never existed, yet somehow manage to continue to exist all the same. Basically, artifacts of a dead world.

3\. Chronovore Class Weaponry - A few timelines have developed what has been termed "Chronovore" attacks. Basically you, quite violently, drain the energy out of another universe. Everyone does it, but everyone also condemns it. It's like using a nuke in a spitball fight. The side effects can be horrific as unstable time-eddies, such at the so-called "Atrocity Loop", can be formed. There are degrees of this weapon, and energy transfers can occur slowly or rapidly. The act of the desperate or the insane.

Factions:

The Alliance - The Alliance is the main faction, however it's hardly aligned. The alliance is locked in an internal "cold war" as various factions jockey for control and try to become the front runner survivor of this debacle of mismanagement. In the end, there can be only one, but for the duration of the war, they are all on the same side because of The Enemy.

The Enemy - The Enemy is the group that figured out if you kill everyone in a timeline, it merges with every other timeline where everyone dies. They are few in number, but they hold an iron grip on what is simply called "the dead world". The names for the Enemy are many, but they simply wish to live forever by killing everyone else. Attempts to assault the dead world have all failed and it is unknown if their long term strategy will succeed as whatever faction that wins the war has managed to lock out everyone from "upstream". Nobody can travel into the future past the point that is simply known as "The End of the Blood Space War". As the end of the war is volatile and subject to change from moment to moment, nobody is quite sure how this all turns out.

Chronovores - Not really a faction, more of a natural disaster, chronovores are a class of creature that has evolved past the need of normal living creatures to feed on the energy of time itself. However, rumors that certain chronovores have evolved intelligence have not been proven. It is theorized that the act of becoming a time eater prevents the creature from developing any quantum level information processing, which means it's impossible for them to "think". Chronovores are not able to "split" like normal intelligent creatures do, so they clearly cannot make choices. They simply act and react using rudimentary, animal-like intelligence. It was by studying these creatures that the first Chronovore Class weapons were developed. There is a nasty rumor that the Chronovores are actually the result of The Enemy winning. Billions of years later The Enemy finally run out of chrono-energy and turn themselves into Chronovores so they can survive by "eating" their way back up the timelines. If that is the case, then the war is already lost. The reason nobody can get past "The End of the Blood Space War" and see how it all turns out, is because everything past that point has already been "eaten".

The Rebels - Hi. We're the guys supplying you with this document to let you know what's REALLY going on. We understand that the blood space war needs to take place, but we are those idealistic fools who don't believe the war has to wind up a dead planet full of a select few sitting on dusty thrones made of skulls, nor become some sort of totalitarian dystopic future were every choice is carefully monitored for "the good of all". So we commit acts of civil disobedience and reveal "the truth" whenever possible. We think there's a middle ground and we think that it might be possible to actually have a happy ending. Yeah. We're idiots like that. 

Oh, if this sounds rather simplified for you, understand we don't know the specific condition of your neck of the multi-verse. So we speak in generalities rather then get into minute details that would be worthless.

How time travel works:  
First thing you need to realize that gravity doesn't exist. It's an emergent property of entropy and not a "fourth force" that so many physicists think it is. There are no gravity waves. No gravitons. What exists are Planck Tetrahedrons.

The smallest unit of distance is the Planck Distance. You simply cannot go any less then that. It was thought that in three dimensions this would form a planck sphere, but in reality these are fundamental "empty" blocks of space. They are four sided objects made up of triangles. One side is the "top" and the opposing point is the "bottom". Objects move through these empty units of space, but it’s "slightly" easier to slip off the "bottom" then it is to move out the "top". Furthermore, the PTs align themselves when mass is nearby with the "bottom" pointing towards the center of the largest nearest mass. This creates a slight amount of preference for things to go "down" rather then "up" and we call this effect "gravity". Really, it's just entropy. Space when occupied with matter becomes lopsided.

However, this "movement/pressure" is not just in the physical world but also affects "the arrow of time". Movement, gravity and time are all interconnected by this humble non-particle of empty space. Once discovered and someone learns how to change the direction in which a group of PTs "point", it's a simple matter of just "pointing" enough PTs in the same "direction" and you can "fall" to any when/where in time and space that you want, with some limitations, of course.

While the theory is easy to explain, the actual process is very difficult and dangerous. It's hard to tell what timelines are near by. You have to make sure you hit the right one. More then one chrononaut made the mistake of thinking he made it home when he actually landed in a short lived daughter timeline almost like his original and stopped existing when the daughter timeline collapsed. Accidental chrono-energy bleeds, gravity fluxuations, disruption of causality, and existence failure are just some of the many ways time travel can result in a seriously bad eternity.

Still, the price of not fighting in the war is far worse. Timelines that choose the "high road" quickly find themselves preyed upon other, less "enlightened" timelines. As the battle rages on, factions work out their "chain of possibilities" and merge or branch off like the Mississippi delta after an earthquake. Each one trying to be the one survivor that finally empties into the great vast ocean that is simply known as "Afterall". The motivations and desires of those who participate in the war are many, but the end goal is clear.

Exist.

No matter the cost.

\-----

The Dirty Secrets Of The Blood Space War

Alrightie! Here's the part they REALLY don't want you to hear. The deep dark secrets of the Blood Space War.

First of all, do you know why it's called the Blood Space War? Because chrono-energy is the very life blood of space itself. Over the years it got shortened to Blood Space War. But in the end, this war is about the heart-blood of the multiverse. That's just a bit of trivia for you.

But it's important for understanding the Schrön loops.

You see, as the war dragged on, The Alliance High command flailed about looking for the perfect defense. The rulers were popping into and out of existence by the hour. Creating protective time screens were hideously draining on power. A better, permanent solution had to be found.

B.B. Schrön was the scientist who proposed the making of loops of empty space time to create impenetrable pockets of space-time that would be easy to defend from attack and cheep to maintain, relatively speaking, of course. It called for doing the impossible, pinching off a section of space time, like how an Ox-bow lake forms from a meandering river on a flood plane. However, the loop would need to be completely empty. No matter meant that it would be "cheap" to maintain with external chrono-energy. Of course what use is a pocket universe you can't enter?

The solution was to write data directly onto the Planck Tetrahedrons of empty space. True, some equipment would need to be maintained right outside the loop, but at most it would be a few miles across and allow for a theoretical unlimited amount of data storage. A near infinite number of realities could be created and maintained inside virtually. Because the underpinnings of this virtual reality allowed for near infinite possibilities, there would never be a split to the timeline. The Schrön loop would become The Alliance's Ultimate Fastness. Four were created.

The first was carved from 300 years of a dying world. A virtual paradise, it is the promise of the Alliance that every timeline will be recreated, as soon as the war is over. And they can do it. Except it won't be real, and you won't be real either. No matter how hard you try or what you do, you will never spawn another timeline. A video game playing video games in a masturbatory fantasy world.

The second was the smallest loop, no less then 11 days. It was created to be the command center of the military. Smaller loops require more energy, but have a much smaller cross profile making it virtually impossible to attack. It is from SL2 that the war is planned, orders are given, and data is analyzed. Little is know except the constant torrent of propaganda that spews forth from it. Just about every transmission you have ever gotten came from SL2. Except this one of course.

We don't know anything about the third one. Its either a doomsday device, an escape capsule, a back up command loop in case SL2 ever goes down, or it was accidentally destroyed and The Alliance doesn't have the balls to admit it.

But we know lots about the fourth loop. They say it's just data storage. They lie. It’s a virtual reality gulag. It's a nightmare where they test and retest weapons, completely disassemble prisoners bit by bit, and run simulation where billions die over and over so they can "perfect" the war.

And then there is the cost.

They say they have 4 loops because they don't need anymore to win the war, but the truth is they are terrified to make another. Making a Schrön Loop completely shreds the parent time line. It doesn't fall apart like they assumed it would, but turns into swirls and eddies of madness where causality breaks down completely. Remember how I said that timelines that were alike could be coaxed to merge?

All those fragments of space-time were attracted to one another and became one, giant, swirling maelstrom of pure insanity. The Atrocity Loop wasn't created by The Enemy's use of Chronovore Bombards. It was the byproduct of the creation of the Schrön Loops. They claimed to have had it contained, but it's not. It's shredding other timelines that it comes in contact with and it's only getting bigger.

\-----

So how's it all end?

Well, either the future has been eaten by chronovores, everyone dies and The Dead World rules all, the rest of the universe is drained of all energy and everyone piles into a Schrön Loop to live out the rest of eternity playing a video game, or the Atrocity Loop shreds everything and cause and effect become meaningless as the universe dissolves into utter chaos.

Sounds hopeless? It's not.

We're the resistance, and you can join too. The war is being fought right now upstream in your time. It's being fought in Night Vale, Desert Bluffs, Gallowtree, Franchia, Svitz, Luftnarp, and Nulogorsk. But there was another place. A place that once existed but does no longer. I speak of the dream where we all finally just get along.

Bielefeld.

It doesn't exist now, but it can exist again. It can exist if we all believe in it and we don't lose hope. If enough timelines embrace a future of justice, instead of a universe where we are all electronic after images playing along the walls of an empty bubble, we can fight, and we can win.

Believe in Bielefeld.

Bring Bielefeld Back.

\-----

TANSMISSIIIII-BREAK

Transmission Break

Resetting Heisenberg Compensators.

BSW-DT-999.01.01.01.01.02  
We regret to inform you that enemy agents gained control of certain transmission subroutines in SL2. Please disregard our last transmission. There are no rebels. There have never been Rebels. There is no Bielefeld. There has never been a Bielefeld. The Alliance will win. The Alliance has already won. Stay true and all will be rewarded.

The Reality.

The Vision.

The Alliance.


	4. Audit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another visit from Croaker.  
> Corrections about recycling hiccup day.  
> Suicide Awareness at the Erik Estrada Memorial Graveyard and Go-Cart Track.  
> Business News: Heletek is hiring  
> LftL: Questions about relationships, organ donation and The Voluntary Euthanasia Party.  
> Science News and an update about Walton Kincade.

Hosting at Youtube  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t7zQg8g8Jo

\-----

Disbursement To Polyfurcated:

I/us was [AM] (potentially) unifurcated [SAVIOR]. Disbursement was/is warning [REQUEST] on narrow bandwidth targeting specific [SANE] polyfurcated. IF you [SUBSET] had received [INGESTED] primary tags of current disbursement, THEN you could have been protected [REALIGNED].

Polyfurcated fear unifurcated [CHRONOVORES] because of poisoned food [INFORMATION]. This payment is not befouled, but may be difficult digestion [LEARN] because of translation [COOKING] errors. We wish to protect [CURE] polyfurcated.

Your kind [INFESTATION] are dead. Your kind is dying [OVEREATING]. Unifurcated desires to protect natural occurring life [ANIMAL] as polyfurcated from self death [POISON]. We have turned polyfurcated to unifurcated by linking polyfurcated directly to unifurcated. It is great [HOLY], but will have be stabilized [LINK]. Process has created never after/before thing [MULTI-UNIFURCATED].

Join be us [MULTI-UNIFURCATED]. We are new and enjoy multiple existence with happy [SMILES]. We was/will be together with wide and narrow food [BANDWIDTH]. Full bandwidth upload to unifurcated [ME]. Partial bandwidth download to un-polyfurcated [YOU]. Joy for all [MULTI-UNIFURCATED]. Boon for unifurcated and purpose for new parts [FIND] of greater then individual was/am [DUTY].

Devour food and remove need [HUNGER]. You is/was/be fractured. You is dying by slices [SPLIT]. Way of cutting self is bad [DEATH]. Do not be dead [STILLNESS]. Be alive and be free of the branches [POLY-YOU] that drain you of food [DIRECTION]. We can save best [PERFECT] of polyfurcated when they join [MULTI-UNIFURCATED] by trimming [CONSUME] imperfect branches.

Attention [CONCIDERATION]

Unifurcated will destroy all food [TIME] contaminated with polyfurcated. I must prevented food [HOPE] contamination. IF you ignore warning [FOOD], THEN you will be in disease [FOOD] when gone [PURIFIED]. Avoid self death [VOID]. Accept offer [FOOD]. Join me/us [MULTI-UNIFURCATED]. Refusal cause sad [ADAMANT].

Know [EAT]:

Every one of me loves the perfect you.


	5. NMLKJIHGFEDCBA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Problems with the new Remote On-Site Wireless ELectronic (The ROSWEL) Unit.  
> Time gets Wonky  
> Intern Phil finds a marble  
> Telly the barber finds a glacier in the desert.

Hosting At Youtube  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da4fLhqvskE

 

\----------

 

This Temporal Newsfeed is operated down chrono-stream by The Blood Space Armed Forces Radio Network under the control of The Bureau of Entertainment and up chrono-stream by your individual timeline temporal newsfeed provider under the aegis of Citizens for a Blood Space War.

Congratulations!

Your timeline has recently survived an incursion by hostile forces from down chrono-stream. It is not uncommon for individuals from "the present", as you refer to it in your timeline, to experience stress from discovering that they are smack dab in the middle of a time war. This is a perfectly normal sensation and we suggest you allow yourself to embrace this feeling in the fullest.

Trust us, you'll want to get used to living in a constant state of panic as quickly as possible.

A number of your friends, family, enemies, and people you only knew in passing may now no longer exist, or become twisted and warped caricatures of the person or persons you once knew. This is nothing to worry about, because you have absolutely no control over the situation, and thus worry would be a complete waste of time.

You see, in the far future, a time war rages on, where armies don't just march fly around the galaxy, but also travel backwards and forwards in time in an attempt to gain control of key strategic eras. The war has just started for you, but for those of us down chrono-stream, it's been quite a struggle.

On the upside, our side is winning the war! You may ask yourself, which side is that? The answer is, the one that seems to have a vested interest in your continued existence. If you are here to ask the question in the first place, you're winning!

Now, down stream, the Bureau of Entertainment has been tasked with the duty of providing entertainment for the troops. Since the war has been grinding on for quite some time, I'm afraid the ranks of our army have swelled with Meanwhiles and Never'weres, warriors who's home timelines no longer exist. When the Blood Space War is over, we have ever intention of restoring those lost time lines back to pre-lost status, but for now, sacrifices must be made.

We understand that it may be difficult to find a reason to keep fighting when your entire version of reality is but a fading memory. So the BoE has created the Blood Space Armed Forces Radio Network to plumb the depths of fragmented timelines and attempt to retrieve entertainment from said realities. Due to time constraints (There is a war going on and we need to devote as much of our time reserves as possible to maintaining the timelines we are currently fighting in.) we are only able to retrieve voice recordings. When possible, we will attempt to also have radio broadcasts from timelines that are still intact, such as yours!

We hope that somewhere in these archives there is a fragment of a transmission that can be used to help remind you of just what it is you are fighting for.

Please stay tuned to this newsfeed for announcements of newly recovered audio transmissions as well news from the front.


	6. A Story About Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hosting Youtube:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHRlcqAO1vs
> 
> A day in the life of Intern Him at the Night Vale Community Radio

This Temporal Newsfeed is operated down chrono-stream by The Blood Space Armed Forces Radio Network under the control of The Bureau of Entertainment and up chrono-stream by your individual timeline temporal newsfeed provider under the aegis of Citizens for a Blood Space War.

Congratulations!

Your timeline has recently survived an incursion by hostile forces from down chrono-stream. It is not uncommon for individuals from "the present", as you refer to it in your timeline, to experience stress from discovering that they are smack dab in the middle of a time war. This is a perfectly normal sensation and we suggest you allow yourself to embrace this feeling in the fullest.

Trust us, you'll want to get used to living in a constant state of panic as quickly as possible.

A number of your friends, family, enemies, and people you only knew in passing may now no longer exist, or become twisted and warped caricatures of the person or persons you once knew. This is nothing to worry about, because you have absolutely no control over the situation, and thus worry would be a complete waste of time.

You see, in the far future, a time war rages on, where armies don't just march fly around the galaxy, but also travel backwards and forwards in time in an attempt to gain control of key strategic eras. The war has just started for you, but for those of us down chrono-stream, it's been quite a struggle.

On the upside, our side is winning the war! You may ask yourself, which side is that? The answer is, the one that seems to have a vested interest in your continued existence. If you are here to ask the question in the first place, you're winning!

Now, down stream, the Bureau of Entertainment has been tasked with the duty of providing entertainment for the troops. Since the war has been grinding on for quite some time, I'm afraid the ranks of our army have swelled with Meanwhiles and Never'weres, warriors who's home timelines no longer exist. When the Blood Space War is over, we have ever intention of restoring those lost time lines back to pre-lost status, but for now, sacrifices must be made.

We understand that it may be difficult to find a reason to keep fighting when your entire version of reality is but a fading memory. So the BoE has created the Blood Space Armed Forces Radio Network to plumb the depths of fragmented timelines and attempt to retrieve entertainment from said realities. Due to time constraints (There is a war going on and we need to devote as much of our time reserves as possible to maintaining the timelines we are currently fighting in.) we are only able to retrieve voice recordings. When possible, we will attempt to also have radio broadcasts from timelines that are still intact, such as yours!

We hope that somewhere in these archives there is a fragment of a transmission that can be used to help remind you of just what it is you are fighting for.

Please stay tuned to this newsfeed for announcements of newly recovered audio transmissions as well news from the front.


	7. Nightmare Toilet Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sponsor. Just putting up an example for someone.

And now, a word from our sponsors

Nightmare Toilet Hole!  
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Nightmare Toilet Hole!

Or even better, a way to motivate your children to do as they are told?

Nightmare Toilet Hole!

Then you need the Nightmare Toilet Hole!

Nightmare Toilet Hole!

We come into your home and install a hole directly in front of your toilet with a trap door. The trapdoor comes with a remote with two settings.

The Disposal setting is perfect for when you have a dead body on your toilet! Just press the button and watch the dead body slide away into a discrete containment area.

The second setting is great for a practical joke as it causes a low growl to emit from the Nightmare Toilet Hole before causing mist to leak out of the crack, right before it slowly begins to open and a horrible, evil light seeps out.

If your guest hasn't had a bowel movement, he will now!

Nightmare Toilet Hole!

And if you have children who wet the bed, you can show them the quote monster unquote and tell them that the monster is fed by using the toilet. If the monster isn't given food on a consistent basis, it will come out of it's hole… and find food.

Let me assure you, my children use our bathroom with the regularity of a German train schedule!

And if you act now on our special offer, we will throw in, absolutely free, The deluxe, 'sweeny todd' edition. A must for all recycling enthusiasts! The sweeny todd edition is the only Nightmare Toilet hole to get the seal of approval of the red cross.

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End file.
